I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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