im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
