I am spending my child support on dildos
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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