my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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