at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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