I want to have your abortion
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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