At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
