We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My balls are so social today.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
