The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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