Fuck appropriateness.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
