I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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