The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
