yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
