road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
