thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
