So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
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