And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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