I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
