Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
