By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
