She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Someone came in the potted fern
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
