He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
