yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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