Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize