names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
