I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Send help, water and tortillas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
