I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
