my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just found a bag of teeth...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
