whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
