I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
