So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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