Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
