God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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