thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
