i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
