did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize