Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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