Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
