Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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