he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When are your genitals available?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
