Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
