I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
