I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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