I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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