I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
