My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
