google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
