fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
