omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
