is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
