Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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