After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
