So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize