If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
