You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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