he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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