I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
