never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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