I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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