I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
