if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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